That guy
Haha so remember that guy austin i was talking to yall about, Yea no longer LIKING OR LOVING him ever again. Yesterday he rubbed in my face and flirted with this girl rite in front of me! Gosh! haha but oh well. well at least I was with this guy in front of him that is close to being my boyfriend :) yay! single life has gotten so old! Ready for a bf. And he is a great guy that i feel like i can trust. we will see how it goes. Stay tuned……
My love life rite now……
First there is austin…. the guy i thought tht was gonna be my next boyfriend. Turns out everythng he said to me was a lie. Yea it hurts like crazy but i have to move on. Im not gonna move on fast but i kno eventually i will move on. I loved him so much. the thng is that i shouldnt say LOVED because i still LOVE him. seeing him around breaks my heart. before we stopped talking, when we would see each other haha it was like in the movies. we woould run to each other and just embrace each other into our arms and kiss each other like we havent seen each other in a month, knowing tht its only been 24 hours. MAN i miss him so much. i miss just how we would lay in bed all saturday like there wasnt a care in the world. I miss how he made me feel beautiful and perfect for him. I miss feeling cared about. but most of all i miss loving him. the sad part is that all of his feelings was a lie. maybe they werent. WHO KNOWS. maybe he loved me too. i still feel like i dnt wanna give up on him. Like i feel that i could win his heart ecen tho he has a girlfriend. I wanted to be his. I wanted to be his everythng. I wanted to be that girl that he runs to wen he needs someone to talk to, that girl that was all he needed, that girl that loved him unconditionally, i wanted to be his ALL. I just wait now to see how thngs are gonna go. I cant stop thinking about how much i love him. but i quess i need to stop cause im proll not running through his mind. I pray somehow we find our way bak to each other. Cause i would sacrifice so much just to be his. I kno that sounds stupid and naive but im crazy for him, so i quess it makes me do crazy thngs.
Now since i have told yall about my love, im gonna tell you about this guy named Dee. He is so cute haha and just like a guy tht would just be a fun boyfriend. I would love to be his girlfriend. he refers to me as his ‘future girlfriend’ haha. It would be so much fun to be his girlfriend. it is just the thng tht every girl likes him so i feel like im in a big competition. the thng is ive already won the trophy but im scared to take the prize. Im scared if i was his girl that it would be hard to keep him and make sure kno other girll steal his heart. uhhhhhhh haha emotional rollercoaster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In one way i wanna say i will be his girl. but in another way i feel like it would be an emotional rollercoaster. I wanna tell him how i feel but ive just gotten to the ppoint that im a secret to all guys. i cant trust them, i havent found a guy yet tht doesnt lie to me.
I will just keep waiting……………..
I love you…..
Its 2 in the morning and i cant stop thinking about how i wanna tell u tht i love you. I do! Im scared tht u mite not feel the same way. There is no other guy i wld rather be with than u. I have turned down some great guys but they still cant beat u. I wanna be yours sooo much. I just pray tht u feel the same as me. The next time i c u,Im gonna tell u i love you. Im nervous but anxious cause i want u to kno how i deeply feel about u. The feeling is crazy. I cry everytime i thnk about how much u make me happy. Laying in your arms are like heaven. There is no other place tht i feel safer than with u. Ur my perfect guy tht i have been searching for. I love you….
I thnk about u wen im bored……
Well we have been talkn for 3 months now and i already feel like i love you. you have a perfect personality. ur incredibly sexy. sometimes i just wish i cld rite a diary about u wen im bored.. i wish u were beside me rite now. i miss u teribly. i hope im special to u. i hope im beautiful to u. i hope im the girl u want to have one day. all i can ever think about is being urs. i love you soo much. i can see myself falling in love with u one day. ur such a romantic guy and i have never had a romantic guy before and so i wld love tht. haha u make me wanna blog all the time about u. mostly cause all this stuff i am saying without stopping, so i kno i really mean this. but most importantly its just stuff tht i dnt have the courage to say to u in person because im not sure if u feel the same way. somedays i feel like u love me too. and somedays i feel like im the last thng on ur to do list. the days i dnt text u first is the days i wanna c if i mean enough to u tht u will text me first. eventually u text me. but u text me later in the day. idk if u just are trying to c if im gonna text u first or am i just the last thng tht u thnk about. i dnt just thnk about u wen im bored. i thnk about u wen im sleeping and awake. 24/7! i cant get u outta my head. i cant imagine being in love with u cause im already crazy about u. i have so many guys i can choose from. (not to brag) BTW u just texted me in the middle of this! but as i was saying i have so many options but i cld care less about those other guys. i just want u and to b fully dedicated to u. ur amazing and i hope u kno tht. i wld b the best girl i cld b to u. and i wanna be urs so much. i hope tht happens soon. i love you austin!
